Hi Peeps....
I'm back again, its been "ages" since I wrote here. How I am? Let's say that I'm quite emotionally exhausted that I'm feeling absolutely...nuthin'....it's like a baby crying its lungs out until there are no more tears to cry and energy to keep up the ruckus, or maybe someone who has been whipped so hard and so long that the pain of the wounds on ones skin grows numb. I think this is the body and spirits mechanism to shutdown in order to survive....yeah... I think this is it.
Why the title?? I must admit I am such a person. I have even placed in my description that I always believe in the goodness of everyone, despite the fact of being the cause of pain, over and over again. Hahaha... When I was in a relationship a few years back, I was a sort of masochist since my other half inflicted the same kind of pain over and over again yet I always took him back over the years...Martyr? yeah... I think so.
Nahhh...this is about relationships but of a different kind. I have been told by my mentor that when will I ever learn that there are people who just aren't mature enough that they cannot be trusted. And right now, its hitting me straight between my eyes...and I have had enough. Yes, forgiveness is there... but I can no longer tolerate having to think of repairing the relationship again. I was so gullible to believe that things may be as before or relationships can be repaired so that there will be no ill feelings and no going back to the past "frictions". Sadly, I feel that the bridges are burning... at least for me.
I am on a verge of making a mind-blowing and life changing decision within this month that may surprise a lot of people but not those who are very close to me and who are aware of the "HELL" that I've been going through all these years. These very dear ones to my heart have agonized with me and unfortunately are helpless since I should be the one to make the decision and own up to it.
Gullibility...is it a crime? No, but under MY CIRCUMSTANCES, I am pronounces GUILTY...by myself... and it is about time for me to change my situation.
Until the next installment...
XOXO
MyMy
