Onward Up...In Loving Memory of Tito Dario

As the Lacap Clan remembers 40 days after the death of our beloved Tito Dario Lacap...father, grandfather (or popsy), brother, husband, uncle, friend, mentor, prayer warrior, and most of all a loving person...I thank God to have known him.

This picture i took of a boat while the clan made a island hopping tour around Samal Island, Davao..reminds me of souls released from the fetters of their human trappings and flying onward to the SOURCE... the Triune God... and as I write this photo inspired me on how to commemorate this 40th day. Here's to you, Tito Dar...onward...upward...to meet the MAKER and claim the crown that you have won after fighting the GOOD FIGHT, and finishing the RACE...Do remember us still completing ours here on earth.

XOXO

MyMy

Another Year, Another Milestone

Unusually up this morning, while preparing my stuff I realized I still have time to write some of my musings here in my blog before flying off to my daily activities. Yeah, I'm a sucker for birthdays. It's all birthdays that making me fussy warm inside and all good and positive thoughts full of hope and optimism overflow.

Yup, its my birthday today. What to expect this coming year? I don't know. I'm just grateful that I made it this far and I'm given so many chances and opportunities along the way to further improve myself, make new friends and write another chapter in the book entitles "My Life".

Recently, I've been grateful for another chance to further improve in my new role. It's just been two days and yet the excitement since I got the job is still new and it is "AWESOME" I don't dare complain, since HE has been very good to me, my family and to those whom I care for and love.

A toast to another year of opportunities and chances, maybe this is THE YEAR for me "wink wink"

Happy birthday to ME ^_^

XOXO

MyMy

New beginnings....

At last, I can be able to write freely on what is major change that is about to unfold in my life. Thinking of an image that will befit my emotional status is a phoenix rising from the ashes, from my old life I will renew my fire and passion of work ethic in the new role I am embracing. Looking back, I have no regrets of what has transpired throughout my years at work. Lesson are always learned from all the highest highs and the lowest disappointments. I have always been emotionally attached to what role I do and am passionate about the work and the people under my wing and who I have met in each nuances of my previous roles. They say I am onion skinned, it may be true, because I give my all to my work and my people. I cannot deny my humanity and do get hurt and feel betrayed when those whom I care about and defend with all my being turn on you, let you down and leave you hanging dry. It's the worst feeling, more than vinegar and salt on an open wound.

Yes, I may be gullible and easily trusting to those whom I deal with, because I believe in the goodness of everyone. Unfortunately, I almost always get short changed or end up holding the end of the rope. What can be really a bummer are those whom you've learned to trust and expose your true self, only to learn that they are the ones who tell on you. What comes to my mind as I reflect on this one not so pleasant incident in my career is what Alexander the Great's mother Olympias would say..."People are like snakes, they turn on the one of feeds them"

What I just realized now is that all of these challenges would make me stronger, making me ready for the next step.

As I "die" to my old self and old life, to "resurrect" to a new life and renewed passion...the dying phoenix then rising from the ashes being reborn comes to mind. I know I'm moving out of my comfort zone for the past three years, yet I embrace the change...I am ready...Bring it on!

Thank you to those who have been there throughout these years, most of all those who really knew me and yet understood me. Never doubting my potential and believing in my capability in achieving greater things. For hearing me rant and rave, weep and cry, listen to my croaking voice half screaming and choking in anger and pain...to my screams of delight and happiness and nodding in approval as you view my now relaxed and serene face, reflective of the peace and anticipation of my new life to come....

I grab that grace of this change with gusto, thanking God for this opportunity. This is just the beginning, People...The Phoenix now rises from it's own ashes....

XOXO

MyMy

Gloria Estefan - Coming out of the Dark (Official Music Video)

This song expresses how I'm feeling inside at the cusp of a life change about to happen in a few days time. Change is always scare and even the brave get afraid, when the change feels right despite the uncertainty then you're guided by the MAKER who loves as all.

Get a MP3 version or video of this song, humm through the lyrics and feel the message I want to impart to you...

XOXO

MyMy

Why be afraid if I'm not alone?

Though life is never easy, the rest is unknown
Up to now, for me, it's been hands against stone
Spent each and ev'ry moment
Searching for what to believe

(Chorus:)
Coming out of the dark
I finally see the light now
And it's shining on me
Coming out of the dark
I know the love that saved me
You're sharing with me

Starting again is part of the plan
And I'll be so much stronger holding your hand
Step by step, I'll make it through; I know I can
It may not make it easier
But I have felt you near all the way

(Repeat chorus)

(Bridge:)
Forever and ever, I stand on the rock of your love
Forever and ever, I'll stand on the rock
Forever and ever, I stand on the rock of your love
Love is all it takes, no matter what we face

(Repeat chorus, ad lib, and fade)

Patience is A Virtue

Hi Blog,

I miss writing here, right now I don't have much time to gather my thoughts. I have so much to say but perhaps I'll get back to you.

Why I placed this picture??? I feel I need patience right now, I'm getting anxious of what my future brings...more on it soonest...

Until next posting,

XOXO

MyMy

Gullibility...is it a crime?

Hi Peeps....

I'm back again, its been "ages" since I wrote here. How I am? Let's say that I'm quite emotionally exhausted that I'm feeling absolutely...nuthin'....it's like a baby crying its lungs out until there are no more tears to cry and energy to keep up the ruckus, or maybe someone who has been whipped so hard and so long that the pain of the wounds on ones skin grows numb. I think this is the body and spirits mechanism to shutdown in order to survive....yeah... I think this is it.

Why the title?? I must admit I am such a person. I have even placed in my description that I always believe in the goodness of everyone, despite the fact of being the cause of pain, over and over again. Hahaha... When I was in a relationship a few years back, I was a sort of masochist since my other half inflicted the same kind of pain over and over again yet I always took him back over the years...Martyr? yeah... I think so.

Nahhh...this is about relationships but of a different kind. I have been told by my mentor that when will I ever learn that there are people who just aren't mature enough that they cannot be trusted. And right now, its hitting me straight between my eyes...and I have had enough. Yes, forgiveness is there... but I can no longer tolerate having to think of repairing the relationship again. I was so gullible to believe that things may be as before or relationships can be repaired so that there will be no ill feelings and no going back to the past "frictions". Sadly, I feel that the bridges are burning... at least for me.

I am on a verge of making a mind-blowing and life changing decision within this month that may surprise a lot of people but not those who are very close to me and who are aware of the "HELL" that I've been going through all these years. These very dear ones to my heart have agonized with me and unfortunately are helpless since I should be the one to make the decision and own up to it.

Gullibility...is it a crime? No, but under MY CIRCUMSTANCES, I am pronounces GUILTY...by myself... and it is about time for me to change my situation.

Until the next installment...

XOXO

MyMy

Sense of accomplishment.....Conclusion of FY10 BBC

Another chapter has concluded....finally. The FY10 BPO Basketball conference has been a great adventure for me, my first major activitiy in the BPO Basketball program since I joined the team in September 2009. Meeting all the players from the different 29 teams as I attend almost all their games, some new acquaintances ... others being old friends and catching up with latest happenings in their life...it's so refreshing.

Despite my heaving a sigh of relief that all our hard work has paid off ( Kudos to the BBC Management Commitee!), I can't help feel that I shall miss the frequent wednesdays and saturdays basketball excitement...the almost sleep deprived days that I got...my stomach turning into knots as I watch my favorite teams battling out with each other and jocking for position for the conference finals and eliminations...

I know I definitely have lessons learned regarding basketball and life, as any highly disciplined sport can give someone if they want to.... team work, communication, respect for opponents, team mates and superiors among other things.

One thing that I can take away from this experience is that sincere and all out cooperation in any activity brings out great results, a lesson not lost on me as I go back to the regular routine of regular working schedules starting today.

Thanks to Coach Jopet and Coach Charles, to Assistant Coach Zsa, The my co-team managers Andie, Corky, Al, Marci, Alma and Tet...to all the players (Accenture Knights, ex-Accenture Knights and all those who love the sport enough to sacrifice their free time for BBC), to the fans and supporters and to all the Leads and Managers who supported their associates in joining the BPO Community initiative...hats of to the Managers team who not only supported their players but became players in the concluding BBC ALL STARS VS the MANAGERS exhibition game last April 24, 2010.

To me...another chapter has closed...what will happen to that book entitled "My Life" in the succeeding chapters? Let's wait and see... ^_^

XOXO

MyMy

Punto Miguel with Project H

Thanks to my Unit Lead, Patrick Ortanez, I was able to join Project H, one of the Middle Market Projects in their annual team building at Punto Miguel. Bonding was at its peak, with games, and activities aside from the food galore and drinks overflowing.

Thanks too to Pearl Tavanlar and Pearly Co Yu for also being very accommodating and allowing a "salingkit" to join their outing...

Whew, I'm tired but I will talk about this on the next blog..I have some much to share about my pleasant experience with the Project H team and another guest, HR rep Tetet De Leon

Zzzz muna me

XOXO

MyMy

Easter Week just blew by...

Whew! what a week! I thought I could be able to blog my thoughts daily... alas the elements were against me...my internet went kaput and I was exhausted the last 4 days since easter. Anyway, i could say it was a challenging week, thanks to my boss who allowed me to take the April 9 holiday...now I'm preparing to go to Punto Miguel at Batangas later at 9AM.

Sleep? Naah, dunno I'm too excited to sleep... so looking forward to seeing the beach again with a new set of colleagues and friends from Project H. Can't say much here right now although I was overwhelmed both in a good and a bad way. This I can say, the consequential events to come in my life which started this easter monday will slowly unfold as I look back and analyze the events as they come.

Me to myself....try to sleep...Zzzzzz

XOXO

MyMy

"He is not here, HE is RISEN as HE said"

These are the words of the angel of the Lord to Mary Magdalene and the other faithful women who followed Jesus even to the borrowed tomb where they laid him after His crucifixion. Such words of hope that penetrated their mind and their hearts where once there was despair...

The Resurrection is indeed the cornerstone of the Christian Faith- all denominations included. Without this central even in Christ's life, our faith and actions because of this faith is useless. For me, there is no hope in following HIS Words if the promise of rising with HIM to Eternal life..."where He will wipe every tear...death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning or crying or pain....".

For all who believe in Christ, this is a life line that we all hold on to, as we go through the daily grind of ups and downs.

As for me, I do continue to hope for a better future for me and mine. Despite me living on a day to day basis not knowing what the future bring, I am grateful for the blessing I have.... A solid family where I can always rely on for support, encouragement and love... true friends whom I don't need to pretend what I am not. One questions that I often ask time and time again, will I truly be happy and content? Unfortunately this question may remain unanswered in my lifetime.

I do feel some void within my being that needs to be filled, but I am filled with hope that He will always be beside me to be with me, despite the despair and sorrow that I often feel during by depression bouts. Quoting some lines of the song "The Journey" by Lea Salonga..."What a journey it has been and the end is not in sight, but the stars are out tonight and they're out to guide my way.... I can see a better day...I won't let the darkness in, what a journey it has been."

As the Angels stood silent....

Angels.... I've always had such an awe and warm feeling about them. To be honest, they sometimes border from childhood stories to surreal fantasy. It was just a few years ago when I seriously delved into literature and sacred writings that I realized that they are REAL and they have been in the background for thousands of years serving THE MASTER.

As powerful as they are as God has created them to be, they give their strength in love to God and to us, mankind. That's the key word... SERVE in LOVE... now that is huge...

In Judaism/Old testament, Angels are named "Ma'lakh" or messengers, they have appeared from Abraham to Moses, to Daniel and in the Gospels to Zachariah, Joseph and Mary....and I would think also to the three wise men (the MAGI) showing them the way to the where they can find the Christ Child. These are dedicated servant of God, doing HIS will to the letter and serving the LORD with Love...

I could just imagine as they serve the Lord Jesus throughout his earthly walk for 33 years, aiding him during his public ministry, just to stand by watching HIM being laughed at..then scourged...then spat at ... then finally seeing HIM crucified on the CROSS by being mocked. These powerful beings of light unable to do anything to aid their MASTER but since they know that this extreme of loving sacrifices has to be done, they stand by...silent...but adoring HIM.

I love this picture that I posted, An angel poised to do God's will... his face bowed in front of HIS presence adoring him. The angels has made a great example to us, their little brothers and sisters. For me it's so hard to follow their example, knowing how sometimes stubborn I can be.... I'll still continue to write about angels but for now, just let me give a short introduction about them as this is day is called SABADO de Gloria where the angels stand silent until their duty to open the tomb of the LORD as HE rises from the dead...

XOXO

MyMy

My thoughts on Good Friday ... April 2, 2010

Good Friday.... appropriately named as I realize today. To me, Jesus' ultimate act of love is a benchmark of unselfishness that I doubt anyone human could ever attempt to do. It's just human to preserve oneself, in this world of materialism and consumerism selfless acts are a dime in a dozen.

It's sad to think that this day is not so noticed unlike Christmas. I have nothing against Christmas, one of the happiest days in the year promoting peace and love to all mankind. However, Christmas is just the beginning of what the Lord's mission would be on earth more than 2000 years ago, culminating on HIS sacrifice on the Cross.

The Cross, an execution vehicle for non-Romans during the reign of the Roman Empire which emphasizes on humiliation and torture, previously caused intense pain and shame to the victim and his family/acquaintances (I know of no women who are victims of crucifixions) now becomes a symbol of redemption and the love expressed by the Son of God.

It's hard to see God's hand on this day and age, only man's. Despite the prosperity of today's 21st century, with technological, scientific and financial advances that are felt globally, we still have the scourges humanity has been suffering for ages...sickness, poverty, war, injustice towards the perceived weak of society. I still see a lot of good people trying their best to make the world a better place by being an example to others, but somehow this is just a small drop in an ocean of the selfishness of humanity.

In my own little world, I can relate to those people who try hard to be an example of decency and yet feel the angst of being treated to say the least unfairly. Misinterpreted actions, backstabbing, being laughed in the face or behind one's back..etc. I've had it all. Sometimes in the loneliness of my room, I do cry tears of bitterness and in my pain scream to God and ask " Why me?"

Today, I realize that I am sharing in the bitterness of Christ's passion. He was talked against, misenterpreted, backstabbed, laughed at in the face...He shared our humanity, my humanity...my sufferings both in the body and in the soul. I feel a sense of shame that if THE LORD was able to take all of these hurts and offer them to the FATHER with the words.. "Father, forgive them, they do not know what they do." How can I not?

I know I can never have the strength of character as the SON of GOD, it would be impossible. However, I have His Promise " I am with you, until the END of THE WORLD"... I have to believe this, and the LORD never breaks his promise.

With this in mind, I circle back to the picture I'm posting with my thoughts on this most sacred of HOLY DAYS...I know now and I am reminded everytime that whenever I am alone and hurt, HE IS WITH ME. He is beside me to CARRY ME THROUGH...to hold me and embrace me...assuring me that HE is WITH ME. I do feel a sense of peace after the tears and angst that I share with him when I am on my knees, talking to HIM...sharing with HIM my pain and uncertainty of life.

I still do not know what life will bring me, the materialism in me is telling me that this is no good, but I know that the LORD has plans for me, and I know that when my life unfolds according to God's plan, it will be to GLORIFY his NAME.

In Te Domino confido, non confudar in aeternum.... In thee o Lord, I put my trust, never let me be put into confusion

First day Blogging...Here goes ^_^

April 1 - supposedly April fools day... but I think today is a great day to start my blog , a form of electronic diary keeping.

Why now? I dunno, I miss writing constantly, since I graduated college at UST (hmmm, don't want to count the years past since). I do some writing from time to time but I miss the uncensored self expression I do with handwritten diaries but don't have the time to do long hand...so used in using the PC in doing any kind of writing.

Why Mhy'stique Limbo? - I just personalized by blog using my Nick but at the same time describing where I am in my life right now.... in Limbo. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy what's going on with me and my day to day thing but as the blog name describes...everything is so murky and hazy, so much mystery that I have come to adapt to a day to day existence. I do keep my days fun and make the most of my life despite the unknown direction. Who knows what will happen the following days to come now that I've started by blog? ^_^

I'm not sure if there is anyone out there who will read my blogs, but this will be a creative and therapeutic outlet for me....

To all...happy reading if you're interested and enjoy the restful and meaningful Maudy Thursday!

XOXO

MyMy